Monday, March 5, 2012

He Giveth and Taketh Away

There's been a couple recent events including the death of yet another community member that has really made me step back and realize I need to be thanking God more and spending less time worrying about the big picture.

It just amazes me how hard it is to say goodbye to someone who lost their life at such a young age. It also surprises me to have to have such an epic event to make me step back and really re-evaluate what I'm doing with my life and how I should be focusing more on the little things. I really need to start enjoying life, like taking that extra cookie instead of saying no it'll just go to my rear. I need to sit outside and watch the sunset more instead of hurrying inside to make sure the house is straightened up and supper is started.

I keep thinking to myself that it's just not normal to have to say goodbye to so many people. It seems like each year the amount of goodbyes I've been saying to those who have left us keeps growing. But why are the numbers growing? Are we not paying attention to the little things in life that keep us safe and healthy? Are we not taking the time to, per say, smell the roses? Why is the fatality rate growing? I really feel blessed to have known so many amazing people and am thankful that I can say I have plenty of angels looking down over me but I really wish I had more time to spend with those loved ones that have gone to Heaven. It would have been nice to watch them grow old and get to see their personalities really emerge.

It just breaks my heart to know that we aren't taking time in our daily lives to really thank God for everything he's given us. I mean after all, didn't he remember to wake us up this morning? Perhaps we should be giving him more credit, stop the worrying game and just start living in the moment.

Over the past couple days I've taken the time to really evaluate my life and how I've been treating and thinking about others. The loss of someone, anyone, can be devastating and knowing that it takes a death for us to tell each other we love them just doesn't seem right. I want to be able to let people know that I love them daily not just during times of sorrow.

Death is one thing in our lives that is un-avoidable. If I were to die tomorrow I would want people to remember me as the person who always had a smile on my face. Who was always willing to lend a hand and give positive feedback if they needed a shoulder to lean on. I try to live God's word and want people to remember me as a person who was always trying to better the lives of people that got to know me. I think my ultimate goal is to show other's that faith is important and that believing in God is very important to me.

No one wants to lose someone that's close to them but if you are a social butterfly like me and know a ton of people losing an acquittance or friend is almost inevitable. I hate seeing/mourning the loss of people and I hate going to funerals even more than the sound of nails on a chalk board but to me funerals are needed. They are a time of rejoicing in a life that was taken away from us. In celebrating that person and all of the many things we as individuals who knew them had learned from them. I enjoy hearing positive things about people that touched my life.

With the loss of such a wonderful person I've come to realize I need to call up my friends from high school that I don't talk to anymore and reconnect with them. I need to send my family members a quick note letting them know that I'm doing ok, fill them in about my struggles with trying to balance work/school/a small business. I need to try to mend things with my sister and try to work on our relationship. Lastly, I should take the time to shut off electronics, unplug from the technology that surrounds us and just spend quality time with Travis.

God is the ultimate decision maker in our lives and he does things for a reason. We may find it hard to see the reason and even call out to him cursing because we do not understand why he is putting so much sorrow into our lives. It may seem unbearable at the moment but just keep praying and asking for answers and eventually he will give them to us.

I want to end my post with a Christian song that I find comfort in for situations that I have when I'm battling with thoughts and emotions inside of me. God really has never let go of me although at times I do question him. God bless!

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