If you haven't heard yet there was a bombing in Boston earlier today. I've been watching the live ABC News Feed for the past hour straight and I'm just in shock. As of now they've confirmed two deaths and more than sixty-eight people taken to hospitals. Between silent tears, a gut wrenching feeling and the sickening video footage I'm just in utter shock and an emotional wreck.
This bombing has really hit home for me. Although I am not a marathon runner I still consider myself a competition runner and I do participate in various 5k races. The fact that there are so many unanswered questions right now about this bombing is partially why I'm scared but the other reason I'm scared is because I have a fear of being around large groups of people.
Call me selfish but the fear of being around hundreds of people is because I feel it's a target for others to cause harm. I feel like terrorists plot for events where they know they can hurt/kill thousands at once and here is another example of what they're capable of. I think my real fear is that I cannot control the fact that people are out to hurt innocent people. The fact that I cannot avoid it if someone where wanting to harm others and have absolutely no remorse for their actions.
This fear will only grow and turn into anxiety as we continue to watch this event unfold. I will admit I do have anxiety and I should probably get put on medication for it because I can let any small event turn me into an emotional wreck but today's just hit me hard. Maybe it's because I went to the Oklahoma City Bombing Memorial less than a couple months ago, maybe it's because I'm a runner and I'm realizing that this could possibly happen to me at an event I'm planning on running in the near future, or maybe it's just because with all the mass murders and killings going on lately I have a fear of being caught up in it like so many other innocent victims have found themselves in situations like me.
I've learned over the years that although I cannot live in fear due to terroristic plots I can live cautiously and learn to live like tomorrow is a gift not a promise. The Lord has blessed me in so many ways and I feel so grateful for all of it but today, today is a day that I will forever cherish. I have health, I have a wonderful family and I have friends whom I love to the ends of the earth.
**Side note, just got word that there were 85 runners from Nebraska participating in this race. Just makes it that much more emotional for me to think about.**