Wednesday, April 6, 2016

Operation Half Mary Training (I'm running for ME this time around)

Oh lookie! I'm running the Lincoln National Guard Half Marathon in less than a month and I just started training again! 

Isn't this the norm for me anymore? I mean, there's plenty of older posts (HTH Training Update, Half Mary Training 2015 Round #2) that prove I procrastinate and always wait until it's too late to start really training for time and a better PR. I almost always just beg myself to be in "good enough" shape to push through the miles and quite honestly, I've gotten used to it without giving myself a challenge. 

I like blogging because I can look back on my thoughts while training for running other races. I can re-read my words and remember my specific emotions that I once felt during a specific time period. For example, while training last year I wrote a post called No-Tivation. In this post I wrote about how my heart wasn't in this race. Specifically, "I think this time around what's happening is mentally, I'm just not wanting to train. Mentally, my heart isn't into this run. It's not my first and it's for sure not my last. It's an "in-between" race. A race that really doesn't count, per say, in the bigger picture of my racing career if you shall call it that."

To me, this is exactly where I'm at right now again. This is exactly how I feel. It's not a race that gives its runners a lot of chatter on social media, it's not one that you hear a lot about yet there are almost 13,500 of us runners that sign up each year to run together.

It actually kinda takes the pressure off doing my best and just pushes me to focus on being a better human instead. I like learning more about my limits with each new race and this one won't be any different.

In my personal life, there's a whole lotta emotional hot messy-ness going on. So, when I run, it's my "control" time. It's when I can go out and choose how hard I push myself. How much pain I can endure. To me, my running is the only time during the day I'm pushing everyone else's feelings aside and focusing on myself for once.

So, to answer everyone's questions a few weeks ahead of time. No I'm not pushing for a PR time. No I'm not actually going into this race with any ideal times or splits. No I probably won't post my official times on social media nor do I care what my mile paces end up being. I'm doing this one for me. I'm doing each and every single mile as a selfish way to heal and mend my soul.

I'm running for ME this time around.

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